Decentering relationships and losing friends

Ever since I made it clear that I was not looking to date, it's like most of my girlfriends don't even bother to check on me anymore. Mind you, these are girls I grew up with. I'm talking 10 years of friendships, trips together, family meetings. When they do check on me, it's the usual "So you seeing someone right now ?". When I respond that I am not and that I have no will to get in a relationship, their face usually reveals a sense of pity. "It's ok, you'll find someone when it's your time" or "Love comes when you least expect it". Girl I do not want the love to come, point blank period.

By decentering relationships, I also realized how much space they took up in my casual conversations. Last night, 5 of us went to the restaurant for the first time in months. We thought it would be a great way to catch up as we had not seen each other in a while. Over the 2 hours of the meal, all I heard were complaints and gossip about relationships. Barely a few words about our respective lives not including romance. As soon as one mentioned even her career, the topic turned to what the boyfriend was doing too. From there, it was back to relationship gossip. One of the girls just got engaged and, don't get me wrong, I am VERY happy for her, truly wish her the best. However, all that she was talking about during the 2 hours was her wedding plans and how happy she is to take his name. She also dropped out of college when he proposed to her so she has no degree to her name, no business, and she wants to be a housewife. I went home exhausted. Literally fell asleep as soon as I sat on my couch.

I had friends text me only to complain about men that they had no will to leave. I had friends only call me to ask me for my opinion on something a man they were romantically involved with did. I had friends drop me, cancel plans and just stop checking on me once they found a guy, only to come back crying after the breakup. I know 2 girls that I am still actively in contact with, one of them has a boyfriend but is still very much in touch with herself.

When you plan on staying single, expectations for friendships will naturally exceed expectations for romance. I seek deep friendships, I want to talk about everything and anything, I want to know about the other person and, even when that includes talking about love to a certain extent, I don't want to feel like I am talking to your partner instead of you. I will be here for you if you go through a tough breakup, but I refuse to be your therapist or your spare tire when you do not make an effort to care about me too. I feel like community died, and what most people do not realize is that a couple needs a community (friends, family) to thrive as well. You can't expect your partner to be your everything, and when that's the case, I've seen how it ends with my (former) friends. Most of their relationships are very messy. I was wondering if anyone else struggles with that and if you guys found a way or a community in real life to seek and nurture healthy friendships with people who are not love crazy.