guys during vce im becoming a not-so-fun person

Because I'm so school orientated, im beginning to think my friends kind of dislike me at times. Especially when they are all touchy and stuff (like they genuinely have fun like handshakes n stuff) but I don't get that treatment. Maybe I'm a constricted person. Also, they expect me to be fine and normal after my parents were supposed to be separated. I think the problem with my friends is that they expect everyone to be happy. When I look on my friend's face that doesn't participate in parties or hangouts, I see that they are quite disconnected but then at other times they are so included. Usually I feel like the black sheep. How do I loosen myself up, I don't wanna change just because of them but because I just wanna be free and like available yk?!? I aspire to be that type but not because my friends are shaping me like that.