Stressed out about SPM (vent)

Hello, this is just a vent. Not sure if I'm in the right sub for this but I'm Batch 24' and SPM is around the corner (literally less than two weeks) and I've been struggling with insomnia all my life and been suicidal since quarantine, which has affected my life alot, especially grades.

I know what I want to pursue in education but my grades has been horrendously bad (with the only A+ in English) and it troubles me and worries me all day. And I can't seem to focus when studying, I'd dooze off reflecting on other things. I've been thinking of retaking but for now, I'd try my best for my future. But it seems hopeless in my opinion. My parents says multiple times that SPM is important and if I fail, I'd be homeless. Which puts a lot of pressure and stress on me and I see all my peers struggle too but still gets good grades. I wish them all the best.

It does sounds like I'm weak but honestly I am, I'm completely aware of that. Life has given me a good year but my mental health and chronic insomnia destroys everything.

Sorry for the rant.