Limerence as fuelled by the strength of grief of love we never got
Had a therapist session today about feelings I am trying to fight about an LO. When it came down to it the fuel for that desperation feeling was actually unexperienced/repressed grief from the love I never got or didn't get enough of. Of never being someone's number 1 priority or attuned to enough etc by primary caregivers. She gave me a simple phrase to take away and thought I'd share it.
"He's a good man and you're a good woman" (change gender as appropriate)
It's saying they might be great but you are equally great, you are equal, by being born on this earth, all beings are equal and equally qualified for receiving love.
Anyway wishing you peace in your heart as I hope to find in mine.
P.s Does anyone else experience excruciating shame about the desperation passionate/loving feelings you have about an LO and the equally excrutiating pain of having to keep them secret/crush them, like trying to hide the sun under a duvet? Or is it just me? My therapist had real trouble understanding why I would feel ashamed for having these feelings and I had trouble explaining.