SA - home is where the heart breaks

I’ve been SA’d dozens of times by now but only once by a non-member and mostly by my father. Never penetrative but lip kissing, neck kissing, pinning down, hand around neck, on inner thighs etc. Lots of peeping tom moments and inappropriate discussions as well. He was kissing me on the lips without consent until I was 21. He seemed really obsessed with my purity. I was SA’d in college by someone else and called him crying hysterically about it, the first words out of his mouth were “Did he put himself inside of you?” I’m comfortably exmo now and pretty much no contact with him but I feel like there’s a burning weight on my chest when I’m alone & I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts during intimate time with my fiancée. It makes me feel sick. I have dreams about r*** as well that almost exclusively feature him. I have my diagnoses & I’ve been through therapy three times already for it but it’s not getting any better. Does anyone have any tips from an exmo perspective? I don’t know if this is common in Mormon families. And yes, he is my biological father - stay at home dad, still married to my mom, the whole deal.