Im tired. I just want to rant

I have high functioning depression bc Ive scared the shit out of myself when I let my depression paralyze me to the point I couldnt eat sleep or even get out of my bed the whole day. Im in med school and im constantly working and working and even resting feels like a chore. Im frustrated because I look fine. Im not fine and I want to be babied sometimes. But I baby others bc i know how it feels to feel like me so I dont want anyone to feel like how i feel. But that makes me look even more independent. I see psych and therapist, i eat good and workout. My friends know i have depression but they forget how muxh pain im in bc i look fine. I despise it when ppl tell me its part of life. Like fuck you you dont know how i feel and if you felt a fraction of my day you will shut the fuck up about it. Im tired. Im so fucking tired.