Anyone resentful they were born?

So my origin story frustrates me to no end.

My mom had to do fertility treatments for a while before she got pregnant the first time. Unfortunately after giving birth he died. A year later she did the treatments again and ended up giving birth to my sister. Then she planned on divorcing my dad… but surprise! She found out she was pregnant with me… no fertility treatments. She considered abortion but ended up keeping me. After I was born she got so depressed she wouldn’t hold me. She ended up planning to kill me but doctors intervened and put her on meds and she did not end up killing me. Years later she gave birth again with the help of fertility treatments with her new husband…

I keep asking myself why I am even alive. Like what was the purpose? I wasn’t supposed to be around. My barely fertile mom somehow had a surprise child and considered getting rid of me twice… like I don’t think I should be around.

I’m pretty resentful that all of this pain and frustration could have been nipped in the bud. I don’t want to hurt myself but I do kind of wish I wasn’t born.

Does anyone else feel this way?