Its my 30th birthday on Monday

Every year I dread my birthday because it reminds me how few people I truly have in my life, but this year I'm spending it alone and I truly feel really depressed already. I'm dreading it. I can't help but look at my life and how little I've accomplished. I can't hold down a job. I can just about raise my daughter on my own. And the worst part is I look very well put together. I exercise and resistance train a lot, care about my hair (I'm a woman) and what I wear. I don't know why but this makes me feel even more like a fraud? Like I should look the way I feel which is this deep feeling of sorrow and like ill never be able to hold down a relationship, friendship or job. Sorry for the rant :( I never rant on social media, I deleted all personal accounts like Instagram and Facebook years ago. So things must feel pretty bad for me to write as I hate the pity party feeling. I guess I'm just hoping for someone to say that it will get better and that this won't be my life forever despite the odds. I'm a really bad conversationalist and I hate feeling like a burden to people so I'm pretty isolated. Thanks for reading.