Chemistry test gone wrong
This happened back in Grade 11.
I was sitting at my desk, suffering through a chemistry test, when the kid next to me started having a full-blown coughing fit. Like, the kind where it sounds like a tiny demon is trying to escape their lungs. But since we were in the middle of a test, my teacher refused to let her step into the hall. So, she sat there, coughing up her lungs
And then... it happened.
She farted.
Loud. Clear. A sound so crisp, Beethoven himself would’ve been impressed. And because the classroom was unnecessarily large (seriously, was this place designed for giants?), the fart echoed. It bounced off the walls like some kind of twisted musical masterpiece.
I felt it instantly - a tiny smirk creeping onto my lips. My body knew what was about to happen. I tried to fight it, I really did. But then I made the mistake of looking at my friend.
Bro had turned into a human tomato, desperately trying to hold in his laugh. His face was swelling like a balloon at its limit. I knew if I stared any longer, it was over.
Too late.
A wheeze shot out of me like a deflating balloon. And once the dam broke, there was no stopping it. I was laughing uncontrollably at this point.
Then, as I handed in my paper, I decided to go out with a bang.
"Well, I guess CH₄ (methane) was the answer to one of the questions!" - Thanks Jessica! (the girl who farted)
That was when I realised I made a terrible mistake.
I locked eyes with Mr. Dimethylpentane
His face was a perfect blend of disappointment and rage, like he had just found out his retirement fund was actually Monopoly money. In slow motion, he flipped through the test papers, found mine, and—without hesitation - slapped a big, fat 0 on it.
That was the day I learned an important lesson:
- Comedy is a dangerous profession.
I have contacted the principal, Sir Felony, about this. Waiting to hear back.