My parents have an exceptionally happy marriage and it is ruining my life

(this is just a fun post, i am just tryna cheer you all up, dont flip out please)

So le me, son of a very annoying couple, these people have just turned 60, BUT THEY DONT BEHAVE LIkE IT, they behave like 20 year olds, and even tease me for being single.

My father goes out for a round of drinks on saturday, this man proceeds to come home, straight to the kitchen, moms boiling milk, i am filling water bottles, he proceeds to snuggle my mom and their mollycoddling begins, i am like Bhai kya kya dekhna pad raha hai, my mom turns and says, tum bhi kar lete, agar koi hoti toh haina, both burst out laughing, dad apparently has brought kulfi and now they happily began chatting.

Bc why dont you fight like normal couples of your age, aisa thodi hota hai, this is india yaar, aisa ek healthy safe environment where you guys are accepting of relations nahin nahin nahin, meri chaati par sanp lotney laga hai yaar, itne pyar sey kaun rehta hai.

This is just a result of netflix and prime which i should have had cancelled years ago, bigad gaye hain mere ma baapu, arrange marriage mein yeh sub ? Kahan jaaun mai, cries in alone.

Aye din taaney padtey hain, sub dilaya, college mein padhaya flat mein rahe, ek ladki sey dosti nahin hui ? Batao.

Yeh dono rishtedaron kay pressure mein bhi nahin aatey, apni karte hain aur mujhe karne dete hain, thoda patriarchy mujhe bhi experience karwao yaar😭

Sala arrange marriage ka pressure bhi nahin daltey, kehte hain karni hoh kar lena, subkay parents ko dekho, pakad pakad kar shaadiyan karwa di hain, mera time kab ayega ?

I am so disappointed yaar, sometimes i think its all my fault. God is punishing me, anyways, chai mein elaichi ya adrak ya dalchini ya saunf ? Jaldi bolo...