Struggling with reintegrating after self-isolsting

I’ve been doing self-improvement the last few years. It started with my mental health and has resulted in me being the most attractive, well-spoken, self-aware, and insightful I’ve ever been.

Considering my upbringing, I’m proud of myself for how far I’ve come. I’ve become very independent and have gotten used to a certain amount of control over my life, especially my emotions.

However, the problem is that I did all this alone (or with therapists/the Internet). As a result, sex, intimacy, and dating are the areas I’ve worked on the least. I’ve tried, but it’s impossible to work on those things alone.

I’m in my early twenties, but I think I still have a teenager’s perspective on women. My main focus is sex (read: validation). Because of that I am very calculated in how I interact with women, which turns them off. I don’t really want to get to know them, because I am afraid I will get attached to them.

To me, seduction is just as—if not more—enjoyable than sex. I often pedestalize them, but instead of simping, I hold back in my interactions, trying to figure them out. I don’t lie or coerce them into anything, but I am definitely not being my authentic self. I don’t do well with OLD, because to me there’s no “real” reason for me to talk to her. It just seems like a game of “what do I need to say to get her into bed.”

I don’t know how to be “spontaneous.” I’ve never had a ONS or slept with a girl from a dating app. It’s always been with girls I met at school or through mutual friends/friend groups.

But I’m out of school now, so my opportunities are even fewer. I have no close friends at this time and don’t know how to make any. But even if I did, I would still just be focused on sex. I prefer to be alone, so the same goes for bars/clubs.

I’m not sure what to do. I’m just lonely and frustrated with this whole thing.