Chris does not work hard.

ESPN sometimes makes correct decisions.

Edit:

The sweet sound of stung egos clamouring in unison. I awaken to find my satirical jab has drawn quite the crowd, though I confess it’s a somewhat amusing sort of crowd, some deeply offended by a remark that doesn’t aim for the jugular but merely grazes the skin. To those of you who are writhing in the agony of my post’s implications, rest assured that my intentions were not to upset your delicate constitutions, but alas, here we are.

Now, let us untangle the various threads of criticism with the utmost rigor, starting with the persistent reminder of ESPN’s sweeping layoffs. Yes, of course, they were trimming the fat across departments—but does that suddenly canonise every person they axed as a hard worker or, dare I say, competent? The reality of large-scale layoffs does not absolve someone of professional ineptitude. Chris Cote, by all reasonable measures, has been a nepotism hire from day one. There’s no need to sugarcoat it or act as though he were somehow vindicated by the cutbacks at ESPN. As another commenter noted, multinational companies like ESPN routinely conduct performance reviews, and it’s not beyond the realm of possibility that someone higher up saw the same glaring deficiencies we’ve all come to recognise in Cote’s on-air and off-air performance. Nepotism doesn’t suddenly cease to exist because the pink slips are flying.

To the gentleman proclaiming, “Stu comes here, man,”—yes, of course, Stu “comes here.” He’s the jester, the mascot, the one dancing as Rome burns. His job is to show up and put on the happy face while everyone else carries the weight of the show’s intellectual slack. He's earned this role. But even the jesters need their court, don’t they? Which is why it’s infinitely more galling to see Cote, unchallenged and unrefined, flounder about in his role, dragging the show’s potential down with every missed cue and uninspired quip.

But I digress. The real pleasure here is in observing the devotion to mediocrity. “None of us knows what anyone does behind the scenes,” some cry out in defense. You’re right, we don’t know—though, I must say, what we do see is quite damning. This isn’t the case of an unseen maestro working tirelessly in the shadows. No, this is a man who, despite being handed opportunities, tools, and platforms others could only dream of, still manages to stumble. And not just a stumble, mind you—a perpetual tripping over one’s own feet, so much so that it’s no longer just a part of the show’s shtick. When your own boss—Dan, in this case—has to outright call you incompetent, devoid of humour, there’s no saving face in that.

To those who bristle at the idea of layoffs being justified, I implore you to reconsider your naïveté. A “good guy” does not necessarily equate to a good employee, and being amiable in the shipping container doesn’t absolve you of the fundamental requirement to be proficient at your job. What was once endearing background incompetence has now morphed into an anchor around the neck of the show’s progression. The oral history of the show, for instance, reveals this decline. The golden eras you all pine for didn’t have Cote fumbling in the EP chair, and yet here we are—nostalgically reminiscing while conveniently forgetting the rot that’s taken hold. As I've wrote previously, The Lark ought to havee hired from outside the company for their EP.

And, finally, for those of you who are quite fond of telling me that I “don’t understand the schtick” or that it’s all “a bit”—may I remind you that humour, if it is indeed a bit, ought to have some semblance of effectiveness. Incompetence is not a punchline; it’s an embarrassment. If you want to defend the ship sinking for the sake of continuity, I’ll leave you to it.

Oh, and do rest assured that my future posts will certainly be lengthier as they are normally, as requested. I wouldn’t dream of disappointing you now that you’ve shown such a keen interest in my writing.