I wish he'll regret what he did

I've been with my ex for 3 years, but it was a long distance relationship. He was very broke when I met him and I was still in college, but later on, I stopped college to go to work and save up for us. Being with him, he said how much I helped him stuggling from being drowned in debt and how I encouraged him to find a much better paying job and be with his family again. And our struggles as couple started then.

When he was able to get back with his younger brother, that's when he started venturing clubs together. I didn't mind, cause I don't ever want to restrict him of having fun. He goes to fishing every free day. And the more he does that, he started not wanting to call on me on his free time then.

Last Christmas and this New year, it felt like the whole world was against me since it was then I lost my job and my bestfriend since childhood betrayed me. But during those special occasions, I asked him to be with me cause I don't feel good. Yet, he still went out with his friends to get drunk. Never throughout our relationship have I ever asked him not even once to not go out, it was the first time, yet he did not listen to me. So we had a fight and he broke up with me. I was the one who got down bad and said sorry instead for many times and got us back together again. But we've had many fights, even just over small things. By February, he broke up with me again for the reason that there was no "spark" anymore. I didn't accept the break up cause I was on my wit's end then due to depression. Not even a week after our breakup, he send me a photo of him sleeping with another girl and told me he already slept with her multiple times. My heart was shattered. I didn't know that I was that so easy to be replaced.

When he broke up with me on February, I attempted suicide via overdose but I was hospitalized right away. I wasn't able to take what he did to me and my heart was shattered so bad that I would rather die than feel the heartbreak. The moment he sent the photo, I felt numb, and committed my attempted my second suicide via slashing but it didn't cut deep enough and so I realised that it just wasn't meant for me.

Everytime I visit church, it was always him that I prayed for that I realised now that I haven't actually prayed anything for myself.

It's not that i'm looking forward to this at all to get back, but for the sake of my mind and to gaslight myself to move on, a question for the dumpers out there. Did you ever regret breaking up with your ex? I sincerely wish he will and get a far or much worse than what he made me experience.