How did/do you deal with the stress before your (first) gig?

👋 Hey!

I will try to be as brief as possible. I first stood behind a Dj console more than 10 years ago. Since then, I have realised that it is the only thing in my life that I feel so passionate about. I don't have a goal to make a living out of it, but I would like to participate and play here and there.

During Covid times, I decided to buy myself a pioneer rx2 and I am very happy with it. But I am very self-critical and I don't trust what I do. All the time.

Unfortunately, I haven't had a single public performance yet, except for close friends' parties, where I've gotten really good feedback. However, I always rejected all the feedback cause, you know, ‘i did bad that and that, so sorry that you had to hear that struggle’

I got an offer to play in some place, for free of course. From the beginning I said sure! But the more I think about it, the more I think I'm just going to pass out from stress. That everyone will listen to my mistakes with open ears and condemn me. I'm trying to change the attitude that I would support the other person no matter what, that mistakes are necessary to learn. But I am very strict with myself and I always think that everyone else will be too.

So for now I postponed that event, waiting for “better” timing.

Do your remember your first time gig? What did you feel? How did or do you cope with that? Maybe you don’t feel anything at all? I’m interested in every kind of emotions and coping mechanisms 😀

welp i tried with the short text but.. sorry. First time posting something like that