Anyone else feel like everyone is against them but at the same time longs for their attention?

I have these intense moments of feeling extremely angry and like everyone is against me. I'm even against me. I hate myself. I hate the way I look. I hate everything. But I also am just longing for other people's attention. For example, I got in a fight with my sister last night. She was being a total asshole to me. Her friend was there but ended up leaving mid argument. She never ended up apologizing to me. I told my dad about it today. There is still weird tension between us. I feel like this is fucked up to think but I'm genuinely upset that no one is upset at her for being mean to me. Her friend is hanging out with her again today. My dad isn't upset with her. I can't help but feel like they dislike me now. I think it's just that I'm never anyones favorite. But at the same time I want their attention. Maybe I'm just lonely. Idk, thank you for reading if you did. I feel like a monster when I get into these moods. The bad energy just radiates because I feel so fucking angry I could explode. It just drives everyone away even more and further reassures my beliefs of "they hate me" or "they're not on my side."