How to get over a trauma bond ?
Good morning all. I hope this gets some traction because I need advice. I’ve been broken up with this guy for well over a year, the issue is that even after we broke up we would go on dates and still have sex. He ended up going to jail, got arrested for assault. And at that point, I was feeling disconnected from him because it was mostly physical. Well, when someone goes to jail you can’t touch them. He called me all the time. And that’s when the emotional part started coming back. Anyway, he was away for 6 months and got out on Sunday. He stopped calling from the jail a couple of weeks ago, but it was random and out of the blue. He’s been out and I noticed he changed his profile photo on instagram. We don’t have each other on social media by the way. I’m feeling really upset and frustrated. He hasn’t tried to reach out or call me to let me know where he is or how he’s doing, so it’s making me feel like he was just calling me from the jail so he had someone to talk to. I feel confused and taken advantage of again and I’m angry at myself for letting it happen again. Am I overreacting? And part of it is because we’re trauma bonded from things way before this, so it feels harder even though I haven’t physically seen him in a long time. I keep thinking about him even though I literally do everything I’m supposed to. I’m medicated, go to therapy, exercise regularly and engage in hobbies I enjoy. So I’m frustrated because my mind can’t leave the subject alone no matter how hard I’m trying to distract myself. Any advice on how to get past it?