Feeling not enough after getting the dreaded rejection text

I matched with this guy who I really liked was my type, tall, into the outdoors, smart, passionate. I got all ready for this date and almost canceled right before because I just felt so anxious and tired and not in a great mood. I havnt socialized a lot recently at all and feel like I’m out of practice. He’s also the first guy I ever told I was autistic. The date was long, uneventful, and I avoided any intimacy and was awkward like normal. I got home and laid in bed replaying every moment and gauging his reaction to my actions and seeing where I went wrong. I don’t think I smiled enough, laughed enough, was confident enough, was enough. My biggest fear is not being enough, it’s why I was so anxious to go. I’ve always been a serial dater to prove I’m enough, have sex first date to prove they like me, now I proceed with caution and avoid intimacy after my last 3 years abusive relationship I left. I realized I only have sex to prove something, so I focused on not initiating anything during this date which I think made me seem cold. I went to far the opposite direction. I had a feeling he didn’t really like me. I think I liked him. I woke up today to a text from him explaining that he didn’t feel chemistry, a spark, or romance. I wasn’t enough for him and I can’t help but wonder the ways I could have acted that would have been enough. I think that maybe I’m not ready to date again maybe I’m still to insecure and anxious for anyone to like me. Maybe I’ve fried my brain with weed and my speech pattern is off putting. Maybe my posture was telling of my fears. It just reinforced the whole idea that I am indeed not enough. I’m to weird and insecure for my friends to actually like me they just pity hang out with me. I’m too insecure for a man to be attracted to me, I’m too cluless for a job to hire me, I’m too cold for my family to feel comfortable around me etc. I know all of these are only partly true but like now I just feel like I definitely have to be someone else for people to like me. While I am conventionally attractive, I think I’m too flat, littleral, cold, insecure and blunt for people to want to hang out with me. Besides fellow autistic people, we seem to get along well.