Tell me I'll be okay

Hey guys, this is my first post in the sub, I didn't know where to go and vent. If it doesn't seem like a valid thing to crash out , I'm sorry. But I gotta get it off my chest and have some warm thoughts and someone telling me I'll be okay. The situation I'm in is kind of a pickle, I'm from a middleclass family and got an opportunity to be research intern in a Japanese university unpaid eventhough, I came to japan to seek other opportunities while I'm here and within 3 months I applied for tons for companies, job fairs, interviews, got false promises even almost a signed contract but they didn't respond later and all. I attended an onsite interview last Tuesday and did quite well, they're pleased with me and told me they'll announce the results within April 10 and I've been anxious since. Plus the research internship I've been doing in Japan is not going very well at the moment and this job is my only way to better myself in a way, i won't be dependent on my family and also do the job i love and I can go from here to higher opportunities, if this works out I'll be so carefree and relaxed atleast for the next year until I figure out what to do next. My parents keeps assuring me it'll be okay, you've tried hard but I don't want to keep trying, i want to win and have something to show for it , i want more and this is my only opportunity right now , i know it's not in my hands but I crash out so hard these last few days, been smoking and skipping meals a lot , it's dreading to go to bed feeling I've not done enough, even though I technically came a long way from where I've been a year ago, I feel so tight and helpless and I cant keep myself organized. keeping myself sane for the next few weeks juggling everything is something I can do, but can't because of my overbearing anxiety and I feel so helpless and miserable in the end as always.