AITA for calling my mom out on her ‘psychological manipulation’ during an argument?

I (17F) and my mom (49F) recently got into a massive argument about a stupid topic and it feels like the boiling point of our relationship. 

Basically, my dad recently retired and started using the front bathroom in the mornings so he doesn’t wake my mom up by using the bathroom attached to their bedroom. My Type A mom has a strict morning routine (has to shit at the same time every morning or she’s constipated), and since she can’t use the front bathroom, she’s been using mine.

The issue I have with that, is that I have to get ready to leave for school right after she takes a shit, so I’m stuck in a stinky bathroom. Why can’t she just use her own bathroom attached to her room? The angle of the toilet seat is too steep.  

Fast forward—this somehow turned into a heated family argument in the living room. My parents started bickering, and I kinda faded into the background. Eventually, the fight stopped (no real conclusion just sarcastic and stabbing remarks), and we moved on to watching a movie. Later, while plating dinner, the argument resurfaced, and I—being the immature teenager that I am—found humor in the sheer stupidity of it all. My dad even started making silly faces at me (directed to my mom), which only encouraged me to tease her a little. She did not find it funny. 

As I ate my dinner, she kept side-eyeing me. Every time I looked back, she glared at me like we were in kindergarten having a fight over colored pencils. Instead of saying something, she just kept up the passive-aggressive staring contest. Eventually, after dinner, she told me (in a noticeably irritated tone) to clean up the kitchen. When I came back, she side-eyed me again.

I then found it time to speak up, and ask her “Are we going to keep up this glaring game all night, or are you actually going to say what’s bothering you?”She then asked me what I thought was going on, I replied that I didn’t know because I genuinely didn’t at the time. I didn’t know my teasing had pissed her off that bad, and through she was mad because I was playing HomeScapes instead of watching a documentary with her. She then went into a meltdown and talked about how she felt unappreciated and like she didn’t matter because we were teasing her, and how she felt that her “mom-needs” were just being ignored like we didn’t care about her. She also sprinkled in her usual tactic of adding phrases of “it doesn’t matter though” and “It’s just me-nobody cares”, along with saying that “maybe I should go slave away at the coal mines all day and get out of everybody’s way!” (Context: she’s an exempt, high-ranking manager at a company and works 24/7 from home). 

By this point I’ve already apologized sincerely, said how it was my fault for not looking at it from her perspective and edging my dad on, and how she shouldn’t feel like she isn’t important or doesn’t matter to us. This style of argument is extremely common. Now here’s the part where I feel like I might be the asshole: she kept going on and resurfacing the same points, so I got fed up and looked back to my computer and said “it doesn’t matter”. 

This is the same logic she uses, but when I said it, she acted like I had just slapped her across the face. She dramatically shook her head, did a sarcastic “ha,” said “Wowwww”, and stormed off.

I continued to play my game, planning to end the argument in the morning.

She retreats to her bedroom, but then, not even ten minutes later, she walked past me to the kitchen, loudly sighed (probably looking for her water bottle), and on her way back tapped my head aggressively with her finger (something that is unnecessary, passive aggressive, and ticks me off - all of which I’ve mentioned before). Then she sat down and asked, “Why did you say that?”

I told her that what we just had didn’t feel like a conversation—it felt like she was trying to use psychological warfare on me.

As soon as those words left my mouth, she pulled her head back, gasped dramatically, and said “Wow” in the most theatrical way possible. Then she went silent, stared at her feet for a minute, and somberly said, “I didn’t mean to use ‘psychological warfare’ on you.”

I was exhausted and over it by this point, and told her we would revisit the conversation in the morning. She walked off silently. 

I’ve had similar conversations and argument with her and how it’s not healthy to anyone for her to constantly say stuff like “I don’t matter” and acting like the world is against her. I’ve tried to help her work through it, but she never listens - it goes in one ear and out the other. I think I just hit my breaking point and honestly, if she doesn’t want to take any of the advice I try to give her to help sort out her life, then I don’t know what to do at this point. I’ve even offered therapy (because I am definitely not her therapist), but I think she took it the wrong way as she has a different generational outlook on the matter. 

I think it’s also a reflection of how she’s at the point where she’s getting old, realizing she never did any of her ambitions, and is stuck in a high-stress job. She usually not that bad, but she does get really easily wound up and I honestly sometimes feel like she thinks she’s in a reality TV show with her dramatic reactions. 

I can’t tell if I’m making an argument out of nothing, or if she really does have an abnormal argument style. I’ve never really been exposed to anything else, and my dad is a whole different beast. How should I even address this in the morning?